Meet our team
This is ComedySportz St. Louis team!
Has lived in the shadows of a greater star. This all started on September 8, 1998, for on this day Mark McGwire broke the homerun record. McGuire thought long and hard about changing the spelling of his name. Is a McGwire the better McGuire? He was tormented about this for years and needed an outlet. That’s how he found comedy. Now he owns ComedySportz St. Louis and he’s the real MVP!
Is a professional hugger by day and Artistic Coach of CSz St Louis by night. Mike was born with the ability to start over in any life situation. Kind of like the movie Groundhog Day, but instead of reliving the same day over and over, when he makes a mistake, he simply apologizes and asks for another chance, stating that he is a NEW Man, a Mike NEU-MAN! Also, keep an eye out for his appearance on COPS, where he talked himself out of charges using his powers. If you’ve seen Mike perform, give him another chance, after all, he is a Neu-Man!
Served in the Royal Netherlands Navy during World War II and subsequently immigrated to the United States, where he became a citizen and began his acting career on Broadway. George is best known for his work in the Police Academy franchise where he played the role of Commandant Lassard, as well as his role as Henery J. Warnimont in the TV series Punky Brewster. George recently celebrated his 101st birthday.
Is a former stand-in for Paul Shaffer. Critics that have pointed out the best performances by Paul Shaffer have unknowingly named the times that Steve had stood-in for Paul. After Letterman stepped down, Steve moved to St. Louis and joined the cast of ComedySportz, where he has mastered the art of public speaking with a paper bag on his head.
“Not that” Paula Dean is known for endless supply of energy. Paula has run across the continental US from coast to coast, pulling a Locomotive with her teeth. Her story was loosely parodied in the movie Forrest Gump. Paula has been known to generate power for the city of St. Louis during blackouts. She has received the key to the city in 2006, and there are rumors of a statue being made in her honor.
“Negative” Nancy Nigh received her moniker when she was born, and her official weight was -2lbs. Defying the laws of science, Nancy was regarded as a modern miracle. It was later discovered that the scale that was used to weigh Nancy at birth had a matchbook placed under the scale which was placed there by Nancy’s Uncle, who believed the hospital bill charged by the pound for deliveries. The name stuck and, despite working for a company that teaches to yes and, Nancy is still synonymous with negativity. She’s nice though…
Is a former MMA fighter, who is known for being the toughest woman in the world. After defeating every woman in every weight class, Mallory decided to turn her attention to the sport of comedy. Now she takes down people with laughs. Since joining the ComedySportz team, Mallory has been sued by many fans who have cracked their ribs from laughing. Mallory shows no mercy, especially for people that bring up the sitcom Family Ties.
Known to her fans as Double K, is an aspiring football player. Double K is currently trying out for the revival of Vince McMahon’s XFL. Kim wants to be the first female duel athlete, being a competitive comedy actlete, and a running back for the xfl. Kim has been trained by Marshall Faulk. Faulk had the same aspirations and agreed to train Kim in return for improv training from her. After Faulk canceled 4 times, Kim decided to ghost Marshall. Kim went on to win the Pro Bowl for her team, which people don’t remember, because it’s the Pro Bowl, and who watches that? Marshall Faulk went to interview her, but Kim threw him off by wearing a fake moustache, and changed her name to Jim Japoris, if anyone asks.
Was created by a cartoon artist. The ageless cartoon boy longed for a life that was 3 dimensional. John wished upon stars, bought a bicycle pump, ate his weight in cookie dough, and hired a personal trainer, and nothing seemed to help John become a real person. It wasn’t until John started working for ComedySportz at the Sugar Cubed that he found the answer to his problems… Soda. Soda pumped John full of carbonation, and he finally knows what it’s like to be a real-life boy. All John asks is that no one points sharp objects at him.
Is the Great granddaughter of Captain Hook. Maria is an advocate for Friendly Pirates of America. Maria grows weary of hearing about the bad reputation of pirates and has dedicated her life to clearing their name. Maria loves to burn mixed cds, and dvds of movies that are still in the theaters. Maria uses these skills to make friends for free, and when she’s not downloading music and movies, you can find her at ComedySportz, threatening fans that they’ll walk the plank if they don’t laugh.
Dustin “The Brain” Reppell started a career in comedy in 1997 where he optimistically bragged about where he saw himself in three years. Twenty two years later, and still living in his parents’ basement, Dustin was lead to believe by his parents that the Y2K bug was the nightmare we were warned about in 1999. Today Dustin spends the majority of his time warning teens about the dangers of pursuing dreams near the change of a millennium and has been working on a software program to save the future victims of the Y3K crisis. If you see him at ComedySportz, don’t bring up Y2K, unless you have a couple hours and drink.
Accepted her letter to Hogwarts when she was 11. She was welcomed happily into Hufflepuff House. While at Hogwarts, she started the Hogwarts Herald Student Newspaper and put Rita Skeeter’s journalistic “talents” to shame. Through her life, she has used her magic to make the lives of muggles better by inventing heated blankets, tweezers, and turducken. She’s now found a different kind of magic in improve comedy.
Spent his childhood in junkyards building cool machines from whatever parts he could find. But his greatest achievement to date is the Millennium Falcon. When he was just 17 years old, Brian pieced together parts from a modified YT-1300 Corellian light freighter and pieced together what would become the second fastest ship in the galaxy.
Has always wanted to be a magician. She has studied the works of Harry Houdini, Penn and Teller, and David Copperfield religiously as a child and now has a travelling magic show that she sets up at farmer’s markets around town. She can make a cantaloupe disappear in a flash! We’ll let you in on the secret though…she puts it in her bag and takes it home for later.
Is much more beloved than the cheese named after him. Born in the Duchy of Limberg, he was raised as a master scientist with a passion for making cheese. In his lab, he housed many different sources of bacteria. One day, his apprentice mixed up some vials and mixed Brevibacterium linens with cow’s milk. The resulting product? Limberger cheese. This made Lynn a billionaire almost instantly as France had never had such a delicacy. Lynn now lives with his two French bulldogs, Gouda and Cheddar.
Has looked up to Pun-ky Brewster his whole life. He even left his home as a child in search of his own apartment, which he found in Pun-ta Cana, Mexico. He lived on the fruit in the trees and the crabs in the sea and soon became a pun-dit of living off the grid. He moved to St. Louis after he lost a pun-ting competition at the local college. He has now decided to pursue a new dream of comedy – puns intended.
Got her nickname “Ole blood and guts” not from being a vicious killer or for a love of Halloween, but because she has poured over the entire catalogue of Grey’s Anatomy 150 times to date. She has written Shonda Rhimes countless times about where she would like the series to go and who she thinks is better – it’s McDreamy. When asked how she would like the show to end, she can be quoted as saying that “hospitals never close so this show should never end.”
Is the great- great- great- great- great- great-grandson of renowned Italian cook Chef Boyardee. To keep in touch with his heritage, Carlo travels to Italy once a years to bring the new recipes to small Italian villages. Carlo believes in wholesome and fresh ingredients, the Milan soccer team, pineapple on pizza, aliens, and that the leaning tower of Pisa only leans because it was not built using the strongest type of pasta – which he says is fusilli.
Stephano Balcer –
Is the current WCW Heavyweight champion. While many thought WCW went away in 2001, Balcer has been running an underground organization of wrestlers the likes of which Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage and Chris Jericho have never seen. Balcer has given many celebrities their start by letting them in the ring at secret matches held in abandoned warehouses across the globe.
Is the original Millenial. Born in the year 1000, he was starting trends well before pumpkin spice lattes and long beards. In 1023, he invented paper money. Around 1050, he changed warfare forever by introducing the now revered crossbow. He knew he had set the world on a good course with those inventions, so he has spent the remainder of his life painting large canvases of zebras.
After watching a small cocoon for six years, we were surprised when an Ivey March emerged. She immediately spread her wings and flew away and remained unseen for 29 years. When she returned, she had many stories to tell but most of them involved different types of pasta she tried when she was flying over Italy. Since then Ivey has decided to retire her wings and spends most of her time trying to figure out CrossFit’s appeal.
After years of searching for the end of the rainbow, local explorers were surprised to find Lauren Rubin sitting in the pot of gold. The explorers and Lauren decided to split the gold evenly and meet every summer for an anniversary dinner. Lauren invested her money in MP3 players, piano ties, and Apple Products. Lauren is convinced piano ties will be making a comeback.
But has yet to bring it back. When he’s not Barrowing Fitzgerald, he’s begging for pardons, and stealing hearts. Michael is currently on a mission to disprove gravity by being the first weightless man in history.
After years of study, scientists have finally confirmed that Karen Schubert is not one person but ten tiny people. A current theory is that when Karen performs an improv scene, she is not inventing a new character but letting one of the tiny people take control. Despite these challenges, Karen graduated college with a degree in Hooliganism and a minor in heckling chess games. The ten people that make up Karen couldn’t be prouder of Karen accomplishments.
Locals claim to have seen a meteor crash to Earth six years ago. While investigating the meteor they heard singing and then quickly noticed a baby who would someday be known as Jonathan Garland. Taken in by a local farmer, Jonathan learned to speak using music. His first song was “Believe” by Cher. Although his origin story is extraordinary, he insists on trying to live an ordinary life under the radar. So far, he has been unsuccessful.
Was lured out of the forest with the promise of Hallmark Channel holiday movies. She spent 8 months catching up on every single original made-for-tv holiday movie and when the last movie was over, she sat in front of the tv for 68 hours in silence. She hasn’t mentioned the movies since and neither have we. She mostly spoke in grunts after being found but after observing an improv class, she began speaking. Since then she has revealed she spent her time in the forest doing improv. She has the ability to improv with anyone and anything.
Came to town on Mary Poppins’ umbrella. Although she won’t tell us how she ended up with Miss Poppins’ umbrella, we can’t help but assume her reasoning is nefarious. While she has remained tight lipped on the umbrella, she is more than willing to share her conspiracy theories dealing with the cover up of Big Foots and leprechauns. She has promised that Big Foot will reveal itself to the public in the next 10-100 years. Only time will tell if she is correct but we are thinking she isn’t.